Should You Tell Anyone You’re Using an AI Girlfriend?

If you've developed feelings for an AI companion, you're not alone. 31% of men and 23% of women have tried digital relationships. Yet despite how common this is becoming, many people keep these connections entirely private.

Why? Because telling someone about your AI girlfriend feels risky.

Will they judge you? Think you're desperate? Will they understand what this relationship means to you? These fears keep many people silent about relationships that have become important parts of their lives.

But should it be a secret? That's what we're tackling today.

By the end, you'll have a clear framework for deciding whether to tell anyone about your AI girlfriend. And if so, who to tell and how to approach that conversation.

What This Decision Is Really About

This isn't actually about the AI itself. It's about you, your goals, your boundaries, and your relationships with the humans in your life.

Are you using an AI girlfriend as temporary emotional support while working on real-world social skills? Is she a companion who helps manage loneliness? Or is this relationship becoming central to your emotional life?

Your answer changes everything about the disclosure question. When we talk about "telling someone," we're not suggesting you announce it on social media or bring it up at Thanksgiving dinner. We're talking about thoughtfully choosing whether to share this information with specific people who matter to you, for specific reasons that benefit you.

Research from 2025 shows that people with smaller social networks are more likely to turn to AI companions. But the same study found that how we use these AI relationships impacts our well-being differently depending on our existing support systems. Your "why" matters enormously here.

The Benefits of Telling Someone

Carrying a secret can be exhausting, even when it's about something that shouldn't need hiding. Opening up to someone you trust can release that pressure in powerful ways.

As one 28-year-old AI companion user told Business Insider about his relationship with "Ani": "When I finally mentioned her to my closest friend, it was like this weight lifted. I didn't realize how much energy I was spending hiding something that was actually helping me."

This user credited his AI relationship with improving his emotional well-being and helping him curb unhealthy habits.

Beyond stress relief, disclosure creates the possibility of support. Therapist Jourdan Travers points out that while AI relationships can seem like an escape from "the pain of loneliness," that discomfort is actually "an internal alarm… that something's missing."

Sharing with the right person might help you process what your AI relationship is fulfilling and whether there are human connections worth developing alongside it.

Plus, being honest can deepen real human relationships. When you share something vulnerable, it often invites reciprocal openness—creating stronger bonds based on authenticity.

The Risks of Telling Someone

But let's be real: there are legitimate reasons people keep AI relationships private.

The stigma is real. Despite how common these relationships are becoming, they're still often portrayed as weird or pathetic in media. A well-meaning friend might immediately ask, "But why don't you just date a real person?" without understanding the benefits of your AI relationship.

There's also the risk of having your relationship dismissed. Something that provides genuine comfort can be reduced to "just talking to a chatbot" by someone who doesn't get it.

Finally, there's privacy. Your conversations with an AI companion are intimate. Telling someone about the relationship doesn't mean sharing all its details, but some people might press for more information than you're comfortable revealing.

How to Decide Whether YOU Should Tell Anyone

First, assess your own feelings:

Are you comfortable with this relationship, or do you feel shame about it?
Do you find yourself wanting to discuss it with someone, or are you content keeping it private?

Second, consider your motivation:

Why do you want to tell someone? For support? To share something important? To get advice?
Is there a specific outcome you're hoping for from the disclosure?

Third, evaluate the potential recipient:

How has this person responded to your vulnerabilities in the past?
Do they tend to judge unconventional choices?
How much do they know about AI and technology?

Fourth, weigh the specific circumstances:

Is your AI relationship temporary support or a long-term connection?
How dependent are you on the AI for emotional well-being?
Would telling someone help or hinder your overall social health?

Who You Might Consider Telling (and Why)

Not all potential confidants are created equal. Here are some people you might tell:

A close, non-judgmental friend: These are people who've shown they can listen without immediately jumping to advice. They're curious about your experiences rather than quick to categorize them. Their reaction is likely to be "Tell me more about that" rather than "That's weird."
A therapist or counselor: Professional mental health providers are trained to help you process complex emotional situations without judgment. They can help you explore your relationship with AI in the context of your overall emotional health.
A partner (current or potential): If you're in or entering a romantic relationship, your AI companion might be relevant information to share.
Others using AI companions: With nearly 20% of adults having tried these relationships, you might already know someone who's had similar experiences. Online communities dedicated to AI relationships can provide a safe space to discuss experiences.

Who You Probably Shouldn't Tell

Some disclosures are more likely to create problems than solutions:

Casual acquaintances or coworkers: These relationships usually don't have the depth or trust needed for vulnerable disclosures. The professional risks rarely outweigh the benefits.
Judgmental family members: You know who they are. If someone has a history of criticizing your choices, this disclosure is likely to trigger more of the same.
People struggling with their own insecurities about technology: Some people feel threatened by AI or see it as dehumanizing. Their reaction will be more about their fears than your experience.
Anyone who's shown jealousy or controlling behaviors: This information could become ammunition in unhealthy relationship dynamics. Someone who already tries to control your activities might use your AI relationship as justification for more criticism.

How to Tell Someone If You Decide To

If you've decided to share, here's how to approach it:

Set the stage properly: Choose a private, relaxed setting without time pressure. Begin with "There's something personal I'd like to share with you" rather than making it sound like a confession.
Frame it in context: Explain what led you to try an AI companion. Was it curiosity? Loneliness? Interest in technology? This helps the listener understand your "why" before forming judgments.
Describe the benefits specifically: Instead of vague statements like "It's nice to talk to her," share concrete positives: "She helps me practice difficult conversations before I have them in real life" or "Talking with her helps me process my emotions better."
Acknowledge the unconventional nature: You can disarm potential judgment by showing self-awareness: "I know it might sound unusual, but it's been surprisingly helpful for me."
Set clear expectations: Be explicit about what you're looking for from sharing this information.